We are far too easily pleased.

Dear God, don't let me fall apart.

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 02:31:06 GMT

You know who intrigues me? Abraham!

You know why? Well, I'm about to tell you!

Now the Lord said to Abram, Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed. (Genesis 12:1-3)

First off - Abraham (who was Abram at the time, but let's not get picky) says, "Hey, Abraham, get up, leave all that you know and love, and head over to this land that I'm going to show you." Not only that, but He continues with, "And if you go, I am going to BLESS you!" Now, when I read that, I thought, "Ah! How awesome is that! Why can't God just do that for me and say, 'Caitlin, this is where I want you to go to college.'" Because ya'll, if He said, "Go to Covenant", I'd go without hesitation; if he said, "Head on over to Elon", I'd be there in a split second; and if He said, "I want to see you in Furman", man, I'm there! But no... I don't have that luxury. I'm left to sit and ponder and try to figure out where to go and what to do without God speaking through a megaphone or writing the answer in the sky for me.

But then it was brought to my attention...

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. (Hebrews 11:8-10)

Abraham didn't know where he was going! He just went! Huh, that hits a bit close to home, huh? So I thought about that for a while, and then it dawned on me - how the heck did Abraham know which way to start walking?! I mean, God said, "Okay, go" and Abraham just picked a direction and started jogging along?

So I went BACk to Genesis 12, but I don't think I have much of an answer...

So Abram went, as the Lord had told him, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. nd Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people that they had acquired in Haran, and they set out to go to the land of Canaan. (Genesis 12:3-4)

Yeah, "Abram went". That's all it says. He just goes. How did he know what direction? Did he know what direction? Was it essential for him to know which direction? I don't know! Abraham just goes. That is some incredible trust. I don't know what that really means for me though - does it mean that I just pick a college and know that God will work whatever I choose for good... or do I sit here and try to figure out His exact will. Abraham didn't seem to sit there and say to himself, "Huh, I wonder which way God wants me to start walking?" No, he gathered his things, left all he knew for the most part, and started on his merry way.

The other thing is that Abraham was way out of his comfort zone. I mean, come on, he's 75 years old, he had to leave his home town, and he takes along Lot (who he doesn't exactly get along with). I doubt he really wanted to go on some ambiguous journey. But he did! And God blessed him in unimaginable ways!

So that part sense to me, the out of the comfort zone thing - doing things that you really don't want to do. Because, quite frankly, I don't want to leave really. I mean, I love North Carolina, I love my horses here, I love my friends here - heck, I'd be so happy if life could just go on as it is right now for a few more years. But I don't think that's what God has planned for my life. And you know what, I would LOVE to study horses in college - you have NO idea! And believe me, one of my BIGGEST desires to glorify God through horseback riding (I mean, I do that already - but in the sense of a ministry). But the doors to doing that in college have been slammed in my face so many times. Trust me, I've sat at the foot of those doors and sobbed, begging God to open them. He hasn't. So as it stands right now, I have to go to college and major in something that I don't really love at the moment. I'm going to have to major in something that I won't be able to see how it's going to benefit me. But who knows what God has in store?! Abraham didn't!

It ought to be so easy. Trust and start walking. That's all I've got to do. The question is - do I just pick and direction and start walking, or is God going to flat-out show me?

There's No Place Like Home

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 03:12:05 GMT

Let's start off with Friday, shall we?

Yes, that would be Waffle House...

[At Waffle House]
Rach: Excuse me, do you serve pancakes here?
Waiter: Umm, no, we don't serve pancakes, we serve waffles.

After eating, we spontaneously decided to go watch a movie at Phil's. Actually, we watched some of the Olympics first (don't get me started on figure skating, haha, I'm in love with it right now... and am floored by Sasha Cohen!). Then we watched Top Gun, I had never seen that movie before - I liked it all right.

Anyway, I didn't get home until late and hadn't even packed for Covenant yet. I had planned on packing when I got home, but by the time I got home and it was so late - I just passed out on my bed. So I woke up the next morning and had power/alarm clock difficulty. I did get everything packed though (I basically just threw random things in a bag and threw that bag in the car). After that, it was off to TN.

My mom and I made it there in about 5 hours... I know, you're thinking, that's impressive. We then headed over to the theatre at Covenant and met up with the Powells to watch the play. Wow... you guys... I haven't laughed that hard in the LONGEST time! Amy was hysterical! She really was flat-out amazing... it was great! Oh, and if you happen to hear my mother mumbled something about "scandalizing the five senses" out of someone - it's from that play.

After the play was over, Brian, Amy Estep, and I just kind of sat around for a few hours - because the cast was taking pictures and striking the set and we couldn't go anywhere. Brian memorized his lines for Act III, and we talked, and walked in and out of the lobby and the theatre, and... attempted to keep ourselves occupied. Oh, yeah, we were also STARVING... but we couldn't convince anyone to go out and get food. Finally, we went to Amy apartment - not because Amy and Mark were ready to go - but we were just tired of being there. We hung out at Amy's place for a little while, and I got to see all her cool new artwork (and yes, it's incredible) - but STILL Amy and Mark weren't ready to go out to eat.

So what did we do? We called them and decided to meet them at Chili's. By this time it is 9, and everyone is going to die of hunger. Thankfully, we had Uncle Bob with us and he ordered a ton of appetizers - so people FINALLy got to eat! It took Amy and Mark a little while to get there, but in the meantime we laughed and talked and saw a baby leapord. Mark and Amy did eventually make their debut at Chili's and we all ordered out food. And yes, we did see a baby leapord if you're still wondering. Chili's was great fun - I didn't get back to the hotel until midnight though.

In the morning, my mom and I got up and went to Amy's church - which was really good, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then we all went out to eat afterwards... and poor Mark (who was kept up by Brian until 3 AM) was barely making it - he tried to take a nap in the church pews on more than one occasion. Anyway, lunch was good adn then we went back to Amy's apartment for a few minutes and then my mom and I had to depart.

All in all, it was a great trip, though much to short really.

Oh, and if you're wondering at all... I still don't know where I want to go to college. So if you're thinking, "Well, she's just went back to Covenant and saw everything again, surely she has a better idea of where she wants to go to college!" Well, sorry to dissapoint you, but I have no clue where I want to go. *sigh* And yeah, I know, time is slowly running out and I have to make a decision... hmm... eh... I don't know. There's two things I am absolutely sure of right now - 1. My purpose here on earth is to glorify and enjoy God forever & 2. I love horses.

If there are typos in this post, I apologize, I'm too lazy to go back and read it through.

Just Wait.

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 02:19:06 GMT

All the work that I've put into my little mare (yes, I've taken to calling her "mine") has not been wasted!

She trusts me!

She no longer pins her ears back at me in the fields - so long as I'll sing her a song (I come up with a new one everytime I see her). She follows dociley behind me when I lead her, instead of dragging me all over creation like she initially did. And even better yet, she performs meekly and gentley and RESPONSIVELY!.

I got on her today, wondering what she would do. She was such a mess on Tuesday, I was thinking, "Surely, she's going to fight with me." Oh, but she didn't! I dropped my reins (to the point where I was actually only holding them with one hand and let my other hand fall to my side) and she put her head down and slowed her pace. Then I got more adventerous - I took her over a fence. She didn't break into a canter once, she hopped over it and CAME BACK TO ME! I then asked her canter and yes, I cantered her on the buckle (meaning, the reins were the way I had them when I was trotting on a long rein). She was so wonderful, that I started to smile and sing to her as I trotted and cantered about. Oh, she was magnificent.

One of the trainers even noticed and proceeded to sing her praises - "Virginia looks awesome!"... "She really looks great, Caitlin - you two are really coming together!" All I could do was smile and say "thank you" because I was so darn proud of my little chestnut pony.

She trust me more, and I trust her more... and that's the only way we're going to make anymore progress. I just.. ha... I just sit and think to myself, "You're training a horse and you're doing it right... people are noticing." And yes, I love every second of it and I wish I could do it everyday and make a profession out of it.

Sometimes, I wonder what leasing this pony has done to me. Because before - when I was only riding once a week and having limited riding experience, I slowly had accepted the fact that I wouldn't focus on horses in college. But now that I'm at the barn four or five times a week, that same consuming passion I had when I was eleven years old has come tearing back into my soul. Leasing this pony reminds me of so many old memories and so many old goals and dreams, and I find myself asking, "How did you get this way? How did you let this happen? How - no, why did you give up, why did you loosen your grip on your passion?"

Anyway, enough of that.

Saturday I'm leaving for Covenant to go see a play, I should be back sometime Sunday - I'm not really sure when though.

Meanwhile, I'm feeling much better - though today in study hall everyone seemed excessively loud and I got kind of annoyed. But then I took some motrin and that made everything better.

I honestly don't know what else to say, except that I love my friends and have the best time with them whenever they're around.

Read If You'd Like

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 17:45:22 GMT

ANNIE: Don't smooth anything else out for me, don't interfere in any way! ... Don't undo what I do!

So I go to the barn yesterday and lo and behold Virginia is being used in a lesson. Which, in and of itself, is really fine. The lesson was almost done with (so I wouldn't have to wait too long to ride her) and I actually enjoy watching others ride her so I can see if I am actually making progress with the mare or not. However, if the rider won't ride her correctly and the trainer won't instruct the rider to ride her correctly - then, yes, there is a problem.

Now on Sunday, I had this silly little mare beautiful. She would keep I stready trot if I let go of the reigns (for multiple laps around the arena), she would trot to a single fence without me having to pull back and fight with her, she cantered on a cirlce keeping a steady rhythmn, and she was even starting to get the the concept of bending! I was thinking, "Finally, we are doing something right!"

But I came out yesterday to find a little girl on her (who isn't a bad rider, she just doesn't know how to ride this horse) hanging on Virginia's mouth - I mean, she wouldn't let that mare have her head at all! And that, instead of relaxing her, makes her nervous and excites her. Oh wait, that's right, not only would this girl not let her have her head at all - she was also jumping a line (2 fences in a row) with her - and Virginia... she's just not there quite yet.

And so I watched helplessly as everything I had taught Virginia fell apart.

KELLER: But she's not kicking, now -
ANNIE: And not learning not to... She'll live up to just what you demand of her, and no more.

Oh, and then (yes, there's more!), when this little girl was jumping the outside line, she was supposed to bring VA back to a trot in the middle of the two jumps. There's only one problem - Virginia wouldn't listen and the girl wouldn't make her. So the girl would yank and pull and fight with the mare to trot, Virginia would refuse, and instead canter slower. The trainer turned around and said, "Well, she's not running through the jumps." Yes, that may be true, but the mare wasn't learning anything! She was being allowed to do whatever she wished... and that's never acceptable.

So I hopped on Virginia afterwards and that mare was all worked up. I had to start all over with her, I trotted her around the ring on a loose reign and then took her over a single fence a while later... *sigh*... that fence was a disaster. I also tried the line (just to let her know she had to listen to a rider in between fences) - ha! That mare tried to run off with me to the 2nd fence... so I had to jerk her back and make her halt three strides before the fence. It was bascially a ride of undoing bad teaching.

I had her going to so nicely! Ugh...

Yeah, so I'm at home, not feeling wonderful... I'm going to go crash on my couch again, actually. I hate staying home, I feel like I'm missing a ton of fun stuff with my friends.

ps. I realized last night that ice-skating reminds me a lot of horseback riding and actually makes me want to go ride a horse... you probably didn't find that interesting at all, did you?

Right.

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 04:26:17 GMT

A - Available?: Err... not dating anyone, and I'm pretty happy that way right now
A - Age?: 17
A - Annoyance: At this current moment? Econ... well, the Econ test and the fact that I can't find my physics stuff!

B - Best Friends?: Ha - like I could name them all? I have a lot, they know who they are... so hooray for them, haha
B - Bar: of Soap?
B - Birthstone?: Ruby? Yes, I think that's what it is!

C - Crush: No. The end.
C - Car: Oh right, the one I don't drive. I ride horses. They're better.
C - Cat: I found him at SLC under the concession stand with Laura and Liz (well, THEY weren't under the concession stand with the cat, they just helped me FIND him)... oh right, and my other cat is blind.

D - Dead Pets Name: *Sigh* Ready? Harry I , Vespa, Rainbow I, II, & III (they were fishes), India Jones, I had these two random purple crabs - I don't remember their names & I never played with them, Jingle Bells & Big Mouth the frogs, Dradel, Hazel (well, she ran away), Ricci & Harry II (they disappeared one day), Timon & Pumba (my finches that ate each other... don't go there)... umm... there's more, but we'll just stop there, okay?
D - Dads Name: Rich
D - Dog: Bonzai

E - Easiest person to talk to: I dunno... there's a few
E - Eggs: Yes.
E - Email: Are you planning on stalking me?

F - Favorite color?: Blue
F - Food: Don't get me started.
F - Foreign Slang: Nada.

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Bears, I think.
G - God: Oh, where to begin? He must increase and I must decrease.
G - Good Times: Wish there were more of them.

H - Hair Color: It's reddish/brunette right now
H - Height: 5'2"
H - Happy: At this moment? Yes. Actually, I'm quite relieved.

I - Ice Cream: Mint Chocolate Chip icecream!
I - Instrument: I dunno... I sing somewhat... horses are better.
I - Idol: God says "No!"

J - Jewelry: Don't wear it. Wastes my time and money - buy me a horse instead.
J - Job: Going to school (haha) and training Virginia... I love that mare
J - Joke: Hey Mr. Barnes, you got a string hanging from your arm! Oh wait, that's your shoulder!!

K - Kids: I envy their innocence.
K - Karate: Black Belt? What?
K - Kite: I don't think I've ever flown one.

L - Longest Car Ride: Florida... yeah...
L - Longest Relationship: Like, a boyfriend/girlfriend thing? Ha... I've never had one, and I'm quite content with that.
L - Last Person you spoke to on the Phone: My darling friend Sam!

M - Milk Flavor: Weird question.
M - Mothers Name: Marsha
M - Movie Last Watched: Full Movie? Ace Ventura - Pet Detective

N - Number of Siblings: 1
N - Northern or Southern: I'm from Florida - yeah, you figure that one out! Good luck.
N - Name: I have too many.

O – One Wish?: Horse farm anyone?
O - One Phobia?: Spiders, Rejection, and Knives - yeah, that's three, deal with it.
O - Only goal: Glorify and enjoy God forever.

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: Married... it's pretty cool
P - Part of your appearance that you like best: *Snicker* What? That question wants me to break out into song with, "You're so vain...!"
P - Part of your Personality you like best: You tell me.

Q - Quote: "What the prom?!"
Q - Question for the next person: What's the difference between being engaged and dating... and don't ask me to answer that.
Q - Quick or Slow? Slow... unless I'm riding, then things must happen quickly.

R - Reason to smile: He will never leave or forsake me.
R - Reality TV Show: What Not to Wear, SuperNanny, WifeSwap, and an occassional American Idol
R - right or Left: Right

S - Song Last Heard: I Dreamed a Dream
S - Season: Fall... makes me happy
S - Sex: I'm a girl.

T - Time you woke up: 6:38
T - Time Now: 11:21 and I still have to study econ!
T - Time for bed: Three hours ago!

U - Unknown Facts about me: Some known these, some don't - I like being by myself, I'd rather muck a stall than clean my room, my bedroom floor is my largest shelf, I like to melt chocolate then pop popcorn and then dip the popcorn in the chocolate and eat it, I've never had a real snowball fight, I think most monkeys are ugly
U - Unicorns?: I like 'em
U - U are ?: Thinking that's a dumb question

V - Vegetable you hate: Onions
V - Vegetable you love: Cucumbers!
V - View on Politics: I'm on the conservative side more.

W- Worst Habits: Procrastinating... being messy... not getting sleep... over committing
W- What do you wanna be when you grow up: Horse trainer
W- Where are you traveling to next? Peru?

X - X-Rays: Teeth... yeah, just my teeth
X - X-Rated Porn: Excuse me, I think not.
X- X-chromosomes: And the questions just keep getting weirder!

Y - Year you were born: 1988
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow?: Why not?

Z - Zoo: They have ZEBRAS there!
Z - Zodiac: Like I care?
Z - Zests: Huh, rhymes with Vests, yeah that special...

Stephanie knows all the chords!
Now back to Econ!
The end.

Who writes poety about horses?! Oh, wait, that's right, I do!

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 03:50:11 GMT

I went to the barn today. It was lovely. I'll tell you what, that little mare will listen to anyone ramble on! On top of that, she jumped beautifully today and did a couple flawless flying changes. Hooray!

So this weekend has no doubt been trying (to put it mildly). I've never been so tired in all my life before, honestly, life is wearing me out. It'll all be okay though - eventually. Ha... that's comforting... I guess. Oh well. Nothing can really be solved by rambling on and on and on about it - so I won't.

What's new then, huh?

- Lauren's dance solo was postponed on Saturday... so I didn't go.
- I'm going to Covenant next week to see a play... yeah, I do live in a random family.
- Laura decided that Virginia actually has all the answers, but she can't speak English, so we'll never know them.
- I'm never walking up a dark staircase again, because certain *ahem* people jump out from behind doors and scare the living daylights out of me.
- I'm no longer addicted to Starbucks I realized - haha... yeah, that's because I don't have college apps to do anymore.
- "Jesus take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ("Justin, no. Stop singing." - Mr. Barnes).
- Bop-it is still a cool thing to do.
- I have to learn the King Henry V speech so that I can give it to rally the women when the Muslims are attacking and have already killed off the men. Ask Nerness.
- I'm not currently failing physics.
- I sent a lady an email about a horse... it made me happy.
- "She is the prom queen, I'm in the marching band..." yeah, I just am thoroughly amused by that song.
- Girls shouldn't sit at Starbucks by themselves, lest they accidently become manipulated by a member of the opposite gender and are dumb enough to follow the guy out to the car and get raped and murdered... yes, certain guy friends are very over-protective... I love you all anyway.
- Justin and Kari forget batteries... just so everyone knows.
- Random letters/notes make me happy... oh wait, that's old news.
- I'm hoping for some snow.
- The play is coming along very nicely.
- "Seriously guys, I KNOW my lines - I'm just taking DRAMATIC PAUSES!!" Haha... aw, sorry, Laura, from now on, I'll make sure that no one feeds you a line unless you specifically say, "LINE!"
- I'm getting a headache from listening to my iPod, but I like the music... not that you needed to know that.
- I need to go ball dress shopping, but I have a shopping phobia... *sigh*.
- No, I will not hold a knife. End of discussion.

Okay, well, wasn't that entertaing, oh, you know that it was! Oh, did I promise random poetry in the title of this post? Huh, guess I did... well, okay then, here's a silly little writing about a horse then... (oh come on, don't be shocked that I write about horses... you must know me better than THAT!):

Hush, don’t speak
My anticipation has peaked
My blood’s pumping quick
My nerves rattle my core
My breathing has ceased
My body sits motionless
on top of such a beast

Cold air whips my face
My rhythm matches
the creature’s pace
Look up
Breathe
Wait
Release!
Gravity is outsmarted
Into the air
the two of us have departed

Dear earth, we meet again
Breathing resumes
In this violent speed
I am being consumed
As I spur the animal on
Strides are ever increasing
My hesitation is ceasing

Gravity, you’ve been outdone again
Quick now, no time to relish in such a feat
Kick
Pop
Switch
The change is complete

A few more strides of reckless fury
Abruptly comes to an end
The world is at a standstill now
All motion has halted
The creature snorts in pleasure
His body quivers with excitement,
Pleading to complete the course once more
And such a request,
I could never ignore

Alright, yeah, that was fun... except probably not at all, right? Well, see, now I'm running out of things to say. Oh, Lauren and Jessie baked cookies and cake today and let me tell you - they are excellent cooks!! They should have their own TV show or something, I'd eat their food.

The End.

Ps. This might be shocking, but ladies and gentlemen, I am only human.

"Sorry, I Just Get So Excited!" (Haha! Rachael I LOVE you!)

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 19:39:44 GMT

Look, what fun...

Those were from last week at the show. Obviously.

So anyway, this week has been so very long and so very tiring and I'm glad that a new week is starting. Probably, one of the only things keeping me sane right now is the barn. Sure, other things unwind me too, but there's something about just being there - riding, listening to the rhythmns of other horses, watching equine buck and rear in the fields, just standing and breathing the crisp air there... I dunno... it does something to me - something I can hardly begin to explain in its fullness.

How funny, I really don't even know what to write on here at the moment. Lots of interesting stuff happened to me this week, but writing it all down would take forever - and I really don't want to sit here for hours writing a novel about my week.... soooo... maybe I'll just write something later?

Horseshows Are Fun - So Long As You Keep Your Nerves At Bay

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:21:39 GMT

I'm up, I'm wired, I've fallen back into my old all nighter habits.

So I think I'll write about my show on Sunday... yes, that sounds good.

Sunday I had my first show in over a year. Actually, it was my first real hunter show in several years. When I got there (at 10) it was freezing and then it started snowing - ha! I was numb in an hour! Before my classes, I wasn't nervous at all. I paced around and watched other riders ride their classes.

But when time came for me to warm up, it was disasterous! Suddenly, my nerves hit me and so did my adrenaline. I couldn't think straight - I could control Spot. I could see my strides/distances, I could make the changes, I could control energy... oh, it was a mess. I could feel myself shaking all over. Not the mention, there was five other horses in the ring running around randomly. Ugh... I was terribly nervous - more nervous that I normally am.

So I hopped of for a second, and remounted after I composed myself. I started to breath slowly, and make everything outside the ring disappear - and lo and behold, I could ride a horse again!

My first jumping round went wonderfully (I thought). My trainer was pleased and everyone outside the ring kept telling me what a beautifully (nearly perfect) round I had. I ended up placing fourth - go figure - but everyone complimented me on it the rest of the day... it was funny.

My second jumping round went just as good. I placed second. Then I had an undersaddle (flatwork class), which I placed 2nd in.

And then I had my medal class. Oh, this class unnerved me to the core. There were eight jumps and the course was set up randomly with sharp turns and the like - and I had never jumped a course like it before - EVER! I ended up winning the class... haha, wouldn't you know it! The easiest class I had, I placed 4th, the hardest course I had, I placed 1st.

It was a fun day. Once I'm actually showing, I'm normally not nervous. I think I thoroughly freaked my trainer out befor ehand though! Whoops! Sorry Maria!

Anyway, I have pictures! Maybe I'll post them sometime!

ps. Thanks Laura for calling, and Kari for my rose, and Remick and Justin and Andrew for calling me, and Tyler for congratulating me, and oh, heck EVERYONE who left me IMs and message and text messages - you guys are so great!

Why am I NOT in bed?!

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 05:16:06 GMT

[40] QUESTIONS:

YESTERDAY did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked:
Umm... I talked to some of my friends yesterday and I like them just fine, actually I pretty much love them all... a lot... and I'm gonna miss them next year so much... whoa, didn't mean to go there

2. Buy something:
Food, it was good too

3. Get sick:
No... I'm not sick... yet

4. Sing:
Of course

5. Talk to an ex:
Yeah, in order to talk to an ex, I would have to HAVE one - which I don't

6. Miss someone:
Yeah, well, kind of... I was missing things before I've even left them... I've decided it's just best to live in the "now", because living in the past and the future is incredibly painful
___________________________________________________
Last person who....

7. Slept in your bed:
Me, Myself, and I... and maybe the occassional tabby cat

8. saw you cry:
Ummm... God I suppose... rarely do I let others see me cry

9. Made you cry:
No comment.

10. Went to the movies with?
Hmmm... what was the last movie I even saw? Oh! End of the Spear! That was with my family

11. You went to the mall with:
My... mom? I don't really go to malls

12. Said "I Love You" and meant it:
Laura Estep!

_________________________________________________
Have you ever...

13. Been in a fight with your pet?
Why, yes. Today, Virginia and me had a little disagreement... don't worry - we worked it out - she apologized and I forgave her, we're good now.

14. Been to California?
No. I never plan to... yuck.

15. Been to Mexico?
No.

16. Been to Canada?
Nope.

17. Been to Europe?
That would be fun.
__________________________________________________
Random.....

18. Do you have a crush on someone?
Sure don't.

19. What are you reading now?
Soooo... I'm STILL reading Gone with the Wind haha

20. Best feeling in the world:
Best? Ummm... being with my brothers and sisters in Christ (and laughing with them so much that it hurts, and hugging them, and watching movies with them, and singing with them, and praying with them, and just generally being around them) and horseback riding

21. Future kids names:
Good question - I dunno

22. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Not normally

23. What's under your bed?
Random clothes, stuffed animals, pillows, missing socks, boxes with horse boots, etc.

24. Favorite sports to watch:
Horseback riding... yeah, I know, no one else really enjoys it

25. Location:
North Carolina... did I mention that I love this place?

26. Piercing/Tattoos:
I don't have any - yeah, my ears aren't pierced... weird, huh?

27. What are you most scared of right now?
The unknown

28. Where do you want to get married?
In a church I guess... I'm definitely having a horse drawn carriage though

29. Do you have a job?
I go to school... I sit there... and learn things... and take tests... and suffer through boring physics lectures - isn't that enough!

30. Do you like being around people?
Yeah, I mean, when I'm around people I thoroughly enjoy them, but I LOVE to be by myself too... it's strange

31. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with?
This one time... in kindergarten...

32. Have you ever cried?
Ha? Me? Cry?! Yeah... Of course.

33. Are you lonely right now?
Not lonely - confused really.

34. Song that's stuck in your head right now:
Waves of mercy, waves of grace, everywhere I look, I see Your face...

35. Played strip poker?
What? No! Why would I degrade myself like that? Why would ANYONE degrade themselves like that? Honestly, people do the STUPIDEST things!

36. Gotten beaten up?
Physically? No. Verbally? Ha... yeah... it's not a good feeling.

37. Been on radio/TV?
No

38. Been in a mosh-pit?
That would definitely freak/weird me out!

39. Ever liked someone, but you think they never noticed you?
Yeah... remember that whole kindergarten thing...

40. Goldfish or Semi Trucks?
What? Who aks that? Well, Goldfish smile back until you bite their heads off - do semi-trucks do that? I don't think so!

Maybe I Am Annie Sullivan... haha

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 20:43:33 GMT

So I rode Virginia today.

She couldn't have been more of a brat. What she doesn't realize though is that anything she dishes out - I can dish right back to her (without feeling any remorse at all).

If she wants to run around the pasture with her ears pinned back - that's fine - I have patience for that like nothing else, and in the end - I'll get the halter on her.

If she wants to gallop around the arena when I ask for a canter. Fine. That only means I get to pull her directly up to a halt and then make her backup ten paces.

If she wants to stop in front of a jump... ha... well, let's just say, I have ways of getting horses over jumps.

If she wants to run through a jump, I'm just going to make her come to a halt three strides in front of it... and no, I don't care if it frustrates her.

If she refuses to bend *shrugs* that's okay, all I have to do is take my inside reign and pull it across her neck and press my inside heel into her side - she has no choice but to bend.

Oh, and if she decided she wants to run at a trot, instead of being relaxed - hey, I can post to a trot all day long and she can run around that ring until she wears herself out - I have the time.

Anyway, at the end of the day - I won. Was there any doubt that I would win? I didn't think so.

Haha, so, this morning's ride thoroughly wore me out, because all those things I just listed are exactly what she pulled on me today. It doesn't matter though, that's why I'm riding her -- to teach her NOT to do those things.

Other than that, I'm at home, hanging out (maybe doing some homework) until the superbowl.

yeah...

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 00:53:44 GMT

Oh... look... another college catch... scholarship money gets me a horse in college - no scholarship money leaves me horseless... yes, my parents will do anything but tell me that I can't go to get me at Covenant it seems... or maybe that's just what I'm reading into it. I'm telling you, if I could, I would just go out and start a job as soon as I graduated high school... perferably training horses/riders... yeah, I'd be poor as dirt - but oh well, at least I would thoroughly enjoy myself.

Anyway, that was depressing... I'm just at home... bored out of my mind... it rained and there wasn't any room in the covered arena so I couldn't ride... ugh... I needed to ride... oh well...

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:28:15 GMT

Oh goodness, what a fun week - between saving the world with Elle, horseback riding, Gilmore Girl 1 AM marathons, random car rides to wrestling matches - and realizing, I'm getting good at skipping class - this week just about wore me out!

Yeah, so it was SPIRIT WEEK! Haha, awww, guys, it was so much fun. Okay, so tacky day was not my favorite day - but hey - still fun, right?! Super hero day... well... that was so great and once again Laura and I were pretty incredible - haha! Then of course, there was a TON of picture taking, a ton of smiling, a ton of screaming, a ton of skipping class, and a ton of friends.

Oh and then, there was the wrestling matches. The one at SLC against East Lincoln was so much fun... wow, I screamed so much I really almost lost my voice - but not quite. Anyway, then yesterday, Sam, Kari, and I piled into Mrs. Barnes car and rode with Justin up to another match. Yeah, Justin should've definitely known better than to get into a car with four girls - that is never a good thing. We drove him insane with our incessant laughter and random outburst of song and stories and loudness and... oh... I'm sorry, Justin. *grins*

What else happened this week?

Remick and Seth stopped speaking to me for a day *giggle* yeah... they stopped speaking to me because THEY mocked me and I had the nerve to mock them back! *rolls eyes* But... I'm glad to say... that we worked this out and we're okay now.

Then there was horseback riding. I ended up riding two horses, back to back, and I was thoroughly exhausted - atually STILL AM thoroughly exhausted - because of it! Meanwhile, I have a show next Saturday that I'm kinda flipping out about, because this isn't some random barn show - this is a serious schooling show... and it's been - oh wow - probably at least four years since I've done a hunter schooling show. So, chances are, I'll be competing against people who own their own horses and can ride a ton better than I can. I'm a decent rider - not a fantastic one (by any means)... so... well, oh well... it'll be fun anyway.

I'd post pictures, but I'm too lazy... I'll just post some later, once I get a CD of them all or something :)

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 03:42:03 GMT

So I've encountered a problem - one that has me quite dumbfounded.

I have to make a decision between Covenant and Elon. Because randomly, Covenant, decided to put a 3 week deadline on when I can accept my art/academic scholarship. And in order to accept my scholarship, I have to enroll at the school. Meanwhile, Elon has accepted me and has invited me to come up for their scholarship weekend to see if I can get a scholarship there - however, that's in 5 weeks. And on top of that, I haven't even HEARD from Furman yet - and probably won't for weeks to come.

So... which school do I accept?

Covenant's a Christian school - and actually, that's the only reason I'm considering it. Granted, it's a good reason, but it's the only one. Elon has the art programs, the equestrian club, it's 2 hours away... oh... I dunno. At the same time, Elon is secular, then again, the WORLD is secular - ha! And there are Christian who go to secular schools and do just fine.

It isn't that I don't want to go to Covenant persay, but something isn't right in my spirit about it - something makes me uneasy about it - and it isn't fear. I don't know what it is, but I'm hestitant about going there - something restrains me from jumping at the chance. That probably makes next to no sense, huh?

Yes, and my parents have voiced their opinion the matter - multiple times (there have been fights like no other about it)... they want to see me at the Christian school. Because at the Christian school, "I'll meet like-minded people, have professors who value my faith, not be pressured into partying/drinking/sex, not have ungodly roommates, and I won't be lonely on Friday nights when my friends are out partying." Yeah, well, I agree to a certain extent - BUT it just seems that Christians (strong Christians at that) make it at secular schools all the time and love it.

I'm just so incredibly torn...

*sigh*

So here's what good about Covenant...
It's Christian, the people are wonderful there, I could major in art without worrying about compromising my morals, I wouldn't have to worry as much about off base profs, and the partying/whatever wouldn't be as severe.

But...

It's also 6.5 hours away, they don't have the art programs set up at the moment that I would like, the campus is much - much smaller, and there's no equestrian club.

And then, there's Elon, which...
Has incredible academic programs, is only 2 hours away from my little town that I love so much, has an equestrian club, has Christian based clubs/organizations...

However...

There is partying (I'm not so niave to think that there isn't), I could end up with some physco roommate, my professors and I wouldn't see things eye to eye (to put it mildly), and well... I wouldn't be surrounded with Christians like I have been for over half of my academic career.

Yeah, that didn't help at all did it? Nope. Maybe, I just shouldn't go to college... haha... then my family would really disown me.

My problem is that I change my mind about this issue about whether I want to go to Elon or Covenant every 2 hours or so - so it does me no good.

I'm at a loss for an answer on this one, ladies and gentlemen.

Rambling... again

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 04:05:42 GMT

So here's my attempt to make up for my other entry that was a bit sad and pathetic.

On the way back from Lincolnton tonight, Brian and I were having a conversation and somehow ended up talking about spiritual ties into horseback riding (don't ask me how we ended up at this topic... I don't think I even remember) - I don't think we got into it too much, but it was mentioned. However, since then, my mind's been racing about it. Not racing as in confused, more of racing as in excited and I needed to go ahead and ramble about it...

Horses fascinate me. Most of you (well, probably all of you) know that. I can't tell you how many times I've stopped grooming or tacking up a horse and just stared at it and then gone up and just leaned on it to rest and marvel at it. I'm often in awe of that fact that I ride and work with one thousand pound animals that could take my life in a split second - and they could. I watch them run and buck and rear rambunciously in the fields, only to come in to an arena and act completely mild-mannered as the rider mounts. Yes, I often look at horses and think, "God is amazing." And yeah, I even find myself talking to the horses evey now and then about how neat they are and how awesome God is to have created them.

And I often find myself treating horses like my children. I talk to them, praise them, rebuke them, punish them, reward them, etc. But I also ask them to trust me. Everytime I get on a horse, I'm asking it have confidence in my riding and in my direction. If I point them to a jump, I'm asking them to trust me that I'll get them over it; it doesn't matter how large the jump is - if I say that I want them to jump it, the horse HAS to trust me. If I ask them to canter through a puddle, I'm asking them to trust that they won't sink and drown in it (and believe me, some of the horses act like it's going to) I don't want them to ask "why?" and buck or spook or bolt - I just want them to do it. The thing is, is when they don't do it, it causes mass choas. When they fight me, and refuse to trust me - it results in mishaps. But when they do listen - oh - how wonderful and amazing it is. Everything goes smoothly and looks beautiful, and they also realize that there was nothing to be scared of or to be wary of in the first place.

The funny thing is, after years of riding horses, I realized that exactly what God demands of me. Trust. No - not half trust. Not the "I'll trust you so long as I understand what you're doing" kind of trust. Full, total, complete trust. It doesn't matter if I don't understand or if I'm scared or whatever, He wants me to trust Him. And when I do, things work out - and when I don't, rather large messes get created. No matter what kind of obstacle gets placed into my life, God commands me to trust Him - whether I understand it or not. Strange how that corresponds.

Perhaps that all seems incredibly silly, and maybe it is. But for me, horses are such a vivid picture of that. They're simply amazing creatures - and I'd write more, but I'm exhausted and you're probably tired of reading this.

Whatever...

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 23:44:35 GMT

Waking up early on Saturday is always a rough way to start a weekend, but hey, the day was fun anyway. Play pratice was from 9 - 12... oh dear, I was so out of it. It amazing that I was even able to follow the script at all. This play is tiring to work through, though... and Laura and Hannah are DEFINITELY getting a workout.

After play practice, I went out to eat with Kari, Brian, and Logan... which was fun (and... weird, at times - haha). It was good though. Oh, and then Kari and Brian and I went to see Virginia. And later, Brian compared Anne Sullivan & Helen to me & Virginia - but we realized that there was no parallel at all.

Anyway, after Brian and Kari left, I got on Virginia and had a wonderful ride. Which is great, because yesterday a little girl rode Virginia and it was a mess. The mare was scrambling around the arena, taking off with her every second she could. Today, I was determined not to let that happen - and I won. I had her trotting, cantering, jumping, and doing it all decently. Sure, she tried to rear up once when I tried to take her into another arena - but we... worked through that. So, all in all, it was a good ride.

And actually, I'm realizing this post is incredibly boring... I'm sorry...

Because I'm Caught in Suspension

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 01:06:14 GMT

Today I was sitting on a table in physics class, staring rather blankly out the window, listening to everyone talk and chatter (because... we weren't doing any actual learning in physics haha) - and then the realization hit me: I was utterly content. I was hanging out at school, not doing any work, with my friends, in my comfortable setting, and loving every second of it. I've had several moments like this over the past few weeks. I had one at during StarWars the other night when all eight of us had piled on the sofa and were playing the "Who's foot IS that?!" game - and at Sam's house one day while we were watching Gilmore Girls curled up on her sofa. I love these moments - when I realize how blessed and content I am, it's simply amazing. And knowing that next year, I won't have moments like these anymore, only makes them all the more priceless to me -- but let's not get into that whole subject right now, because it makes me sad too.

Mr. Nerness' class was surely interesting today. We were reading about Shelly and about how he ran around with all these women (even though he was married to another woman... actually, he had two wives - not at the same time though - and 7 kids). And it was just utterly disgusting - for sure, this guy was an absolute creep. He would seduce all the women, and then after he got bored with them, he'd write them nasty letters and send them all away - but not after he'd completely demoralized them and ruined their reputation. In fact, he was the prime reason his first wife committed suicide. But anyway, finally someone said, "What about all those girls that followed him around? They couldn't have been all that great either right?" And that opened up very, very interesting conversation. Haha... wow... it's a good thing that there weren't any parents in there looking at the school or any ACSI people there listening - actually, that would've been funny. *giggle* I love his classes.

Hmm... oh, and then we had this whole big discussion about senioritis and that interesting too. Quite honestly, I've had senioritis (or whatever you fancy calling it) since at least last year. It isn't that I don't do my work - I do it - I just procrastinate until the very last possible second - surely this will come back and bite me in college, but for right now I don't care. It's so strange though how it gets brought up - I'm just thankful that the majority of my teachers understand and indulge us in the fact that we don't want to do busy work.

After school, guess what I did? Just guess. Yeah, I rode Virginia - because I can go out to the barn anytime now and ride a horse - it makes my day! She's was an absolute doll today. I went out to catch her in the field (sloshing and sinking in pools of mud) and as I was walking, I was singing quietly to myself (because I do that sometimes). And when I got to the field, I was still singing and as I got to Virginia, I was still humming and expecting to pin her ears back - but she didn't. She just looked at me with her gorgeous brown eyes and perked her ears forward listening my song and stretched out her neck as I scratched it. She was just as good under saddle too. Goodness, she trotted and cantered marvelously. I would've jumped her a bit, but the arena was so sloshy from the rain that it wasn't safe.

After my ride, I watched trainers give lessons to other kids again - I always end up doing that, and I love it. It's such a neat thing to watch - well, maybe not for everyone, but I certainly enjoy. Gosh, I'd love to train like that... I do get to basically train Virginia right now though, so I guess that's pretty cool too.

Anyway, besides that, my life has been pretty mellow. College applications have been sent, I don't have homework to keep me up all night, I don't have grades to stress about - haha - we'll just see how long THAT lasts.

"Kari, what do you mean you're walking to Pike's in the rain?!"

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 03:08:02 GMT

So today really wasn't so bad. I'm convinced seniors go to school to simply sit there and do nothing but talk and occassionaly jot down a few notes. In AP Lit all we did was chat (about methodist doctrine and random other things), in Stats I drifted in and out of paying attention, in Bible we watched Hells Bells, in chorus - well - we sang, in physics all we did was check homework and then we all just talked, in Econ we watched Mad Money, and then I had study hall! Honestly, a day doesn't get any easier than that.

After school Brian, Kari, and I took off to Birkdale. And that was a lot of fun. If you'd like, just ask Kari how she enjoyed her walk in the rain :) Haha... I love you Kari! Then we went to play practice - which was good - but it was sooooo long tonight. I guess because I (as well as everyone else) was exhausted, it just seemed to drag on and on. The good news is, is that we got most of the blocking done :) So... hooray!

Tomorrow ought to be just as good. I have five classes and the only really "hard" one I have is physics; it shouldn't be all that bad. I have no homework due tomorrow and no tests, so I'm looking forward to a nice day. Of course, with my luck, after saying that I'll have a dozen pop quizzes are something of the sort.

Then after school, it's off to see Virginia. I'm telling you, I love this little mare. But I don't love her in the same way I loved Misty or even Spot. I love her because she fights me every step of the way. She doesn't make it easy and doesn't just give me what I want - she makes me work for it; she makes me think and react and persist until I finally get the result I'm looking for. She's stubborn as a mule and enjoys getting into battles of wit with me. She seems to laugh at me when I mess up and submits to me when I do things right. She's skeptical about all that I ask her to do and is always overly dramatic about every move I make - she is, in fact, a drama queen *snicker*. And yes, she's also over analyzes my riding and my instruction terribly.

But not only that, she tests me in everyway possible - trotting when I ask her walk, pinning her ears back, running at jumps, refusing to bend, etc. But there's so much potential there, I can see it so vividly. She gives me a challenge and I love it. She makes me prove myself. Haha... I have a feeling that I'm going to write an awful lot about Virginia on here and how her training progresses... I just don't think I can help it - I can't help my passion from spilling out.

So there's my life right now for ya. It's all going along quite nicely for the most part, not perfect, but nicely and right now - that's good enough.

Oh... look... fun?

1. First name? Caitlin

2. Were you named after anyone? No... not that I know of

3. When did you last cry? I don't remember, a while ago

4. Do you like your handwriting? Eh, not so much

5. What is your favorite lunch meat? What kind of question is that? I don't know!

6. What is your birthay? 7/12/1988

7. What is your most embarrassing CD? Haha... the one I made in 9th grade because it made my grandmother happy... don't ask.

8. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Ummm... I suppose?

9. Do you have a journal? Obviously

10. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Now why would I use a silly thing like that?

11. What are your nicknames? K8ln, K8lin, Kayeightlynn, Theo, Theodore, Angela, The HorseRider, Caitlin Elizabeth, and... umm... I'm out of names

12. Would you bungee jump? Probably not... unless horses were somehow oddly involved, then, perhaps I could be persuaded.

13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nah, that just wastes time

14. Do you think that you are strong? Strong enough to ride and tame a 1000 pound creature, but not strong enough to beat my sister in an arm wrestling match

15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Mint Chocolate Chip

16. Shoe Size? 7 or 7 1/2

17. Red or pink? Blue.

18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My tendancy toward self-righteousness

19. Who do you miss most? I don't know, but when I leave in the Fall, I'm going to miss a ton of people... but let's not talk about that right now, okay?

20. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? No

21. What color trousers and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans and my brown shoes that I always wear

22. What are you listening to right now? The television

32. Eye Color? Green

33. Do you wear contacts? Nope, sometimes, I feel left out because all my friends get to wear them and glasses and I just don't get to

34. Favorite Food? It depends... Brixx Salad, Chick-fil-a, Curly Fries, etc... I have many favorite foods

35. Last Movie You Watched? Haha... umm... well, I guess that'd be Shrek 2... but I didn't exactly watch the whole thing... some productive movie night that was!

36. Favorite Day Of The Year? Christmas! Or any day I get to ride.

37. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Definitely happy ending - I HATE scary movies, I seriously can't handle them... it doesn't work at all - ever

38. Summer Or Winter? Both are good

39. Hugs OR Kisses? I like hugs

40. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake for sure... I love that stuff!

41. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? Wait, you mean to this survey thing? I don't know, I don't really expect anyone to respond.

42. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? Again, I don't expect anyone to take time to respond to this... I fill these things out because I'm either bored or avoiding something

43. Living Arrangements? In a house with my family

44. What Books Are You Reading? GONE WITH THE WIND... I don't ever want it to end

45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Some random ugly design

46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV.? Umm... I don't remember actually...

47. Favorite Smell? The stable in autumn

48. Favorite Sound? Hoofbeats against the ground

49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Whoa... Ha! I hate both of them... with a deep burning passion of a 1000 suns... No one should ever listen to either one is what I've decided.

50. What's the farthest you've been from home? Ohio, I guess... that was a looooooong time ago.

Just Some Ramblings

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 21:08:40 GMT

Today was a marvelous day. Today I went out and rode a horse... by myself... with no trainer intervention. Gosh, it's been ages since I've done that. Normally, when I ride I have to focus in on two things - the horse and my trainer. I have to listen intently to instructions and do as I'm told - whether it be "trot another lap around the ring", "pick up a canter here", "now drop your stirrups", "come over this jump after you turn". But not today. No today, I came out and rode and purely focused on the horse. If I wanted to trot one direction - I did. If I wanted to canter at a certain time, in a certain way - I did. I didn't need anyone's permission.

Actually, at first, I was a bit dumbfounded with regaining the riding freedom I gave up when I got rid of my first horse. I stood in the barn isle aimlessly for a few minutes, almost waiting for someone to say, "Okay, you can get your horse." - but those words never did come. And when I realized no one was going to tell me what to do, I went ahead and just did it. And it was splendiloquent.

I ended up riding in the rain and not in the covered arena, which worked out nicely. One, it's always fun to me to ride in the rain. Two, trainers got to see me. And after my ride, one of them came over said, "Wow, you had her more relaxed than she was yesterday. You looked great on her." That kinda stunned me and I had to scramble for words of gratitude very rapidly. I'm not used to having people randomly come up and compliment my riding like that.

I'm so excited about showing these people at the barn that I can actually ride a horse. The horse world has its own ranking of class - people who take lessons and people who own horses and people who own nice horses. Normally, people who just take once a week lessons, can't really ride. It isn't their fault, but riding once a week isn't enough practice to get good at it. So, coming into this fancy little show barn being a "lesson kid" doesn't do a whole lot for me. They don't have any idea about my background - and quite frankly, they have no interest in asking. Therefore, by leasing a horse, they can see me ride more than one day a week. And in leasing a difficult horses, they can see that I've got more experience than they thought.

Perhaps, I should stop rambling on about horses and barn politics now, because it's obviously quite boring.

He doth nothing but talk of his horses. - William Shakespeare

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 00:01:05 GMT

So much has gone on today and gone through my mind today, that I hardly know where to begin.

First off, I guess, I went back to school today. You know, as much as I hate schoolwork, I love the people I'm around all day long and I realized how much I had missed them while I was at home sick. To everyone who called me while I was absent: thanks for the calls guys - sorry I couldn't call you guys back though, I don't get the best reception out at my house and my landline phones are broken.

Anyway, while at school, we watched Hells Bells again in Bible. And the DVD we watched today on it really bothered me, it struck me in a weird way and I found myself wincing and making faces at the TV screen. And then, they started talking about the Beatles and The Doors and David Bowie and I was just so repulsed that I could've literally thrown up. I don't think people realize my deep-rooted hatred of The Beatles - honestly, I can't stand them for the life of me, and would be happy to burn every CD of theirs that I could find in my house. My dad is obsessed with them, and has done a fine job indoctrinating Lauren with that love - she perhaps is more obsessed than he is. He attempted to get me to share his obsession of them as well, but I would have no part in it and I never will.

Moreover, my dad has showed Lauren all the music that he loves - The Doors, David Bowie, heck - even some AC/DC... ugh, trashy music is what it is. I probably wouldn't hate it nearly so much if my dad and sister didn't immerse themselves in it. If they both weren't Christians, I'd be tempted to say that The Beatles (among other artists) are their gods. And maybe I despise it so because I associate that music with my dad when he was unsaved, and I do everything I can to get rid of those memories.

So that Hells Bells DVD talked all about how The Doors used Shamanism to create their and support their band... talked about how the founder of Satanism was one of The Beatles heros... and other things that I can't remember right now - but trust me, they were disgusting. Ah, yes, that John Lennon's song "Imagine" was communistic - ha, I like that. But of course, to my dad, it's just music and why spoil his fun of fueling my sisters obsession for it. It'd be one thing, if they listened to it with discernment - if they admitted the fact that these men were lost and the message behind their music isn't at all glofying God, but rather themselves. *sigh* That's it, I'm done with this rant. Just know that I hate, no, loathe the music of the 60s and 70s for the most part - especially The Beatles.

Wow... on a lighter, more happier note, I leased Virginia today. It was really all rather exciting. I got to ride her today - I have so much to work on with this stubborn little mare. The first issue is, is that she doesn't trust me for the life of her. She pins her ears back when I walk by - she doesn't strike out to bite me - it's just she has a pony attitude that flares up. She also doesn't trust that I'll give her her head if she'll let me, so she tries to run off - and many other things. But that's okay, I can handle that, I have before. Actually, I got sick of her pinning her ears back at me when I everytime I walked by, so I went over and scratched her neck all over and rubbed her all over - and what do ya know - she put those ears forward again and relaxed a bit. And then, after a good 45 minute ride, after trotting her around and not letting her have her about things, she lowered her head and I gave up the reigns and let her have her head to stretch out as far as she wanted and she trotted along quite nicely.

It ought to be fun, we both just need to get to know each other. Hopefully, we'll get to the point where she can trust me and I can trust her. Right now, I don't how honest she is about things - so, she won't be getting the benefit of the doubt from me like Spot does. Oh, and when I keep saying "little" and calling her a "pony", it's because she IS a pony. She isn't a horse. Horses have to meet a 14.3 hand requirement, she's maybe like 14 hands or something. For those of you that have seen Spot - he's 16 hands, so you can only imagine how small Virginia looks in comparison. The good news is I'm short too! Yes, being short finally pays off. We're both little, so I can ride her!

I'll be out at 10 AM riding her tomorrow... oh, it'll be so much fun. I'm looking forward to it immensley.

Hmm... what else? Oh, well, I'm obviously not at the game tonight, my lesson didn't get over until 6. And after my lesson, I was flat out exhausted - perhaps riding horses after being sick was overdoing, but I couldn't help myself. So I'm hanging out at my house, resting... and Mr. Nerness is in the living room with my dad because their having a movie night - haha - yeah, they're watching some war movie I've never seen.

Okay, guys, I'm officially tuckered out and this was a really long post. I'm going to go eat some food and then crash on my couch and take a nap or something.

It's Wednesday

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 02:19:00 GMT

I absolutely hate being sick. I've been running and breaking fevers all day long - and coughing like crazy, it's ridiculous. But, oh well, things could be worse - and I did get to sleep 12 hours today, so that was nice. I'm not fully better, but it'd be nice if I could go to school tomorrow though, because staying in my house for another 24 hours might drive me insane.

Meanwhile, I've been studying for stats and physics today... and I don't understand physics, which doesn't do me a lick of good. Perhaps the test will be easy? Ha - yeah, I'm just kidding myself if I think that.

I do have fun news though! My parents said I could lease Virginia :) So hopefully, by the end of the week, I'll have acquired a new project pony. Meaning that, I'll have a pony that I can train and work with whenever I want. All I gotta do is figure out how to calm her down and get her to be obedient without breaking her spirit or damaging her confidence - that'll be a challenge in and of itself, but it'll be a good time.

So that's my life right now. I'm sick, but chances are I'll get to lease a pony :)

I'm off to do some last minute physics studying, because if I do go to school tomorrow, I'll be taking that test. If you're bored though, below is a survey you can fill out. I think I've posted one of these before... but I found another one, and figured, I'd post it... haha... bye guys.

My name:

Who is the love of my life:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

Do I curse:

Do I believe in God:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Color of my eyes:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, emo, snobby, or something else (what):

Have you ever seen me cry:

Have you ever hugged me:

What is my favorite food:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?:

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 23:15:23 GMT

So today I learned that I have no aim at all. Anything I aim a gun at, and pull the tigger on, is absolutely safe - no doubt about that - haha! I also learned, that I can indeed pull a trigger and do so quite rapidly - just ask Remick, Justin, or Andrew and they'll tell you all about it.

I went shooting with Remick, Justin, Andrew, and Andrew's dad today. Actually, it was a good time - I'd never shot a gun before. But today I learned that I can shoot one - I just can't hit anything that I shoot at. Oh well, though, what can ya do? I'm much better at riding horses :)

Anyway, yesterday was movie night. Laura and I cooked all afternoon long - yeah, I know, me - cooking! It was amazing. Laura's a good teacher :). After cooking and taste testing a ton of food, Laura and I went over to Philips and watched Oceans 11. It was a ton of fun!! And I got to meet Willow... she's so cute!

So this weekend was fabulous and actually, there's a ton more that I could write about it - but I'm so tired and my throat is really sore... so I'm gonna go.

That's Why I Couldn't Be Happier... Simply - Couldn't Be Happier

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 04:42:29 GMT

Today, in my riding lesson, there was this girl riding a pony named Virginia. In reality, Virginia is a good pony in the sense that she's an excellent mover, does flying changes, has incredibly smooth gaits, and jumps. The problem is - she's sensitive and gets wound up really easily. So this girl ir riding Virginia and it's just not working - the pony is just trying to bolt with her. My trainer turns to me and tells me how the pony needs to get worked alot more than she does, and I asked her if anyone was leasing Virginia. She tells me "no" and then says (very excitdely), "Caitlin, YOU should lease her!" After my lesson, I asked her if there was a time when I could come out and try her out - she said I could ride her next lesson and then added, "Actually, how about you just hop on her now. I'm gonna go clean up these horses and you and her just hang out for a while."

I wasn't about to argue. I hopped up on her, and had a chat with her - haha... I just praised her a bit and maybe sang a few words to her. Then I asked her to trot and she was perfect for me. After that, I got a little adventerous, haha, and asked her a canter - which she did beautifully. I was tempted to take her over a jump or try a flying change - but I didn't want to take the risk of my trainer coming back and being mad at me for that. So I didn't.

But bottom line: I think I just might lease her. Because no one at the barn wants to ride her, because they think she's "bad" - and she's not! - she's just a but spunky and that's perfectly okay. So, I could basically ride her 6 - 7 days a week. And I could do whatever I wanted with her - I could lunge her, groom her whenever, ride her whenever, take random pictures of her, spend hours with her - and no one would care! Not only that, but if I did get her going really well, my trainer told me the other people at the barn would be impressed... and in the horseworld, impressing like that is a fabulous thing - you get a ton of respect that way. As good as owning my own horse? Eh, no, not at all. But hey, it's close enough!

Anyway, so after horseback riding, I ended up at Birkdale and then Remick and Justin came. So Justin, Remick, my sister, and I all went back to Justin's place and watched Zoolander. But don't worry, Justin made sure to cover my eyes during inappropriate parts of the movie - haha. Oh, and trust me, they all made sure they picked on me for one thing or another. In fact, as we were leaving Justin's house, we were walking through the garage and it was pitch black, and Remick comes up behind me and screams and scares me to death - I definitely jumped.

It was a good day all and all... and of course, I didn't do anything at school today - I NEVER do ANYTHING anymore - it's great :)

Wanna Read It?

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 01:54:39 GMT

01. Your name plus "y" - Caitliny... yeah, that's weird... don't ever call me that.

02. Two feelings at the moment? Stressed and drained. ps. the two emotions don't mix well.

03. What are you listening to right now? Umm... the TV?

04. A part of a song lyric that's in your mind - "Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and my guitar? Litte girl, hey, the door is that way..." --> yeah, it's from Rent...

05. Describe where you are right now? - In my office... eating a salad - from brixx - it's really good.

06. The highlight of your week? Wow - I dunno, it's been a really good week - I've certainly laughed and smiled alot. The highlight of my day was definitely Anna pressing the panic button to Laura's car in class and Mrs. Betsy making an announcement about it.

07. What are you craving to have right now? A horseback ride...

08. An unforgettable childhood memory? I was standing in a paddock, with eight horses trotting and cantering around. I had fallen in love with this little gray mare, and looked at my dad pleadingly, and asked him it I could have her. And he said, and I quote, "I'll do it." *sigh* Man, it's been a while since I was as happy as I was at that moment... a very long time...

09. A not-so-good childhood memory? Haha... well... when I was like 6, I had this play room and I had TONS of toys and NO KIDDING, I had them all over the floor to the point where you couldn't see the toys. In fact, to get from one side of the room to the other, you had to WADE THROUGH THE TOYS. My dad told me that if I didn't pick up every single toy when he got back home (which was about 4 or 5 hours), he was going to throw EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM away. I didn't believe him. I didn't clean up a single thing. So, he came back, saw the room a mess, told me to leave the room, came in and threw EVERYTHING in trashbags and hauled them off to Goodwill... he even took my Simba and Nala...

10. What are your nicknames? Whoa... okay, ready? K8lin, K8ln, Kayeightlynn, Theodore, Theo, The Horserider, Angela, Caitlin Elizabeth... can anyone think of anything else?

11. Your three plans for tomorrow? Go to school, go horseback riding, and come home? maybe birkdale? heck, I don't know

13. Are you thinking of someone right now? *Shrugs* I'm thinking of alot of people at the moment.

14. Do you party? Ha... ha... ha... no, it doesn't really interest me... I have other ways to spend my time

15. What's your middle name? Arica... yeah, it's like Africa without the "f" or America without the "me"

17. Say something to the person who sent you this. "You climb out of windows very nicely, Miss Annie" :)

18. Anything you like to whoever is reading your answers. "You've gotten this far? Well, that's impressive. Hello, by the way! I hope you're having a splendiloquent evening!"

21. Are you feeling hungry? YES! But I'm eating a salad, so I'm good

22. Who do you miss right now? Don't ask me that question, it makes me sad. But actually, I miss my horse right now really badly. Yeah, I know, she's not a person, but whatever.

23. Last person talked to online? *shrugs* I don't remember... I think it was Elle though

24. deleted. Yeah... umm... okay, fine then, I didn't want to answer an actual question for number 24 anyway!

25. What do you like about night? That for at least a few hours, everything is quiet and utterly peaceful, and I can sit and not be bothered by a soul.

26. If you were on a farm... what would you want to see? You have to ask?! THE HORSES! And not only would I want to see them, I'd want to ride them - whether a saddle was available or not... I enjoy riding bareback, it's a good time.

27. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? A Veternarian... then a zoo kepper... and then a horse trainer... but people can't be what they want to be when they grow up, grown-ups just tell you that because they enjoy LYING to you.

28. Last gift? Pictures from Sam!!!!

29. Did you like it? YEAH!

30. Do you play an instrument? Nah, I ride horses and that's BETTER than playing an instrument... for me anyway

31. What song did you last hear? Cameron singing, "Buffalo girl, won't you come out tonight..." haha... it was BEAUTIFUL!

32. Your good luck charm? Who needs one?

33. Person you hate most? Hate is such a strong word... I perfer immensely dislike... and I'm not commenting on this question, so there. And I try not to make it a habit of hating people, just so you know.

34. Who makes you laugh the most? My friends

35. What makes you smile? Horses... riding horses... watching them... writing about them... drawing them... listening to them...

36. Who has a crush on you? Haha, no one that I know of!

Oh, the joy of procrastination!

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 01:47:27 GMT

Scarlett O'Hara. I find it really strange that I like this girl. She's a huge flirt, and perhaps even a bigger hypocrite - she's a snoop and a blackmailer and she married a guy she didn't love at all for the sole purpose of spiting the guy she did love and all of the other guys that she just liked. And yet, I love her. She fascinates me and often her thoughts and conversations with Rhett make me laugh out loud (mainly, because she isn't a hypocrite with Rhett and speaks her mind and doesn't play games). Not only that, the girl knows how to ride a horse - and that just makes it all for me. Anyway, that's my random blurb about Gone With The Wind... and yeah, I know I'm obsessed with it... I can't help it.

Anyway, lately I've been overly tired. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me, because I'm not sick - I just feel like someone has drained all of the energy out of me. And I'd say it was mono, but there are two problems with that - 1. I've already had mono, and getting it twice is very very rare & 2. Because I've already had mono, I know what it feels like, and I don't feel "mono tired". It's the strangest feeling. I do perk up every now and then, but I don't stay very perky for long. And I'd say, "Well, I'm just not getting enough sleep" - but I'm getting more sleep thatn I was last year! I used to stay up til 2 every night doing those retarded NOTE CARDS... and lately, I've been going to bed around 11 or 12, which isn't all that bad really. Perhaps, I really am addicted to caffiene? Haha. I dunno.

I don't really know what else to write actually. I'm just writing on here to avoid my essay (surprise, surprise!). The essay is still pathetic... actually it's below pathetic. I didn't have a problem writing to essay prompts last year in US History or in writing class, but these college prompts are unbelievably difficult for me.

I Officially Hate Diversity - God should've just made us all the same!!

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 03:28:49 GMT

Yeah, I'm avoiding this retarded essay. I don't even know how they define diversity any more? Are they talking diversity in interests, hobbies, culture, etc? It's confusing. I'm so frusterated - you don't even know! I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if I could just get a decent topic or just KNEW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT! But I can't think of a thing.

Anyway, I just need to sit back and chill out for a second, before I go into a meltdown about this, because it's such a ridiculous thing to have a meltdown over. Heh - diversity kinda rhymes with university... I don't know why I found that amusing, but I did.

After school today, Brian and I went to the stage and Brian started to play the piano, while I got all comfy in this chair. And as he started to play, I got more and more sleepy. It was a gorgeous song, and the next I thing I knew I was falling asleep and waking myself up randomly. Finally, I just let myself fall asleep and woke up sometime later because the music had stopped and I heard a voice that sounded like Mrs. Powell. So I woke (I have no idea how long I slept), and sure enough, there was Mrs. Powell talking to Brian. Honestly, I have this habit of falling asleep when instruments are being played - the same thing happened when I went to Brian's band practice one day - I fell asleep in a pew for an hour. It's really weird, but oh well, what can you do?

Ugh... and then today... Brian made me listen to The Chariot. That CD ought to die or be burned or something of the sort... no one should have to endure that kind of torture. And trust me, listening to it is torture.

Play practice was a good time again today. I immensely enjoyed it. We have these adorable blind girls, it's great! And by that time, I had had two Starbucks drinks, so I was wired - which was EVEN BETTER!

So that was my day. The End. I hope you enjoyed it. But even if you didn't enjoy it, well, there's nothing much I can do about that.

Now back to this essay from Satan.